Why do you allow yourself to be pushed into something you have no desire to do? Could it be the need to please? The need to be loved? You are so very loved in every moment. If you felt that from the inside out, truly felt it, could you say “no” and respect what is in your heart more often? What does it matter what others think of you? Oh, of course we know. It feels quite good to be liked and to see smiles directed at you. For a while. Until you repeatedly go against what the heart says, and then the body will let you know with aches and pains, tiredness and sadness. Did you ever connect the two? Your lack of following the heart and what you are feeling physically and emotionally? You are loved already, for you are at your very essence an aspect of The Beloved. Follow your heart.
Very true, it took me 59 years to realise this and stood my ground over a troubling situation and others since then when necessary. It is far from easy but gives such freedom and peace of mind.
The fear of losing someone is there but instead of separation it can be a source of admiration for your principles and not a loss.
Suzanne (and Sanaya!),
Thank you, thank you for this powerful message. My husband and I were just talking, arguing really, about his constant need of approval from others (even those he barely knows). As a consequence, he is always saying, “Yes’ when he really wants to say “No” to Rotary Club officer positions when he isn’t retired yet (he’s been President three times already!); he always dreads the responsibility and the time it takes away from any vacations, etc. Then he likes to complain to me about what he’s, again, gotten himself into. It really brings dense vibrations into the home that I haven’t liked.
Hopefully, this message (I send him all of Sanaya’s messages by e-mail to him at work) will get him to say, “No” perhaps regularly, until he can say he can get back to them later on it IF he changes his mind and has time. He needs to ‘zip up’ before saying the, “YES” he will inevitably regret later. But he does so like to be liked – it’s a bad, bad habit of his. Aaargh! He’s a twin that always, always had to please his narcissistic elderly parents (middle-aged when he was born). Very damaging. Maybe Sanaya can give a talk sometime on – “How Not to Live through Your Children (when you didn’t live your own dreams growing up)” (?) Very harmful (even at my husband’s age of 64 years; he’s still that kid trying to please or fill a void.
Hi Robin, I’m so glad the message spoke to you. And now may YOU find peace in simply observing behaviors with no judment, no meaning, and say Sanaya’s favorite phrase: “Isn’t that interesting!” This phrase creates SPACE for breathing and letting in that moment that allows us to see situations from the soul’s viewpoint — that you ARE the same expression of love as your husband. “There I AM!” And knowing that when we identify with our human stories and see everyone with whom we are in relationship as a story instead of another expression of the I AM, we lose that peace. So after saying, “Isn’t that interesting!” What do we do? Just love and smile at how many ways Spirit sends us our OWN lessons to learn in surrendering and allowing so that all that is LEFT is Love!!!!!!